It was 11pm, I was just about to crawl into bead, and then realized “Oh crap! I haven’t done ritual yet!” I had a good day, really connecting with my muggle job clients. After work, a friend came to visit. He and I have been friends for almost a decade. I’ve known him since 2nd year of university. He moved away for work a few years ago, and was back visiting family for the holidays. He no doubt reads my blog. We were catching up, and he said to me “I’m glad to hear you are doing well, because I love you and I worry about you.” He said it in the most platonic and caring way. It was not boundary crossing, or a declaration of romance. Just someone who genuinely cares and loves me for me. But me, being as awkward as I am, was thrown off guard. I didn’t really know how to react. Was I obligated to say it back? I mean, I have the same kind of platonic love. But with the word being so foreign, I don’t know what the rules are. As he was leaving, he said “By Caroline, Happy new year! I love you! ” and got back in his car. Again, it was said respectfully and within boundaries. I will get used to this. But I think I fear that more casual friends reading this will throw the word at me because they feel I need to hear it. And in that case, I feel like it will lose meaning.
Ritual went well, and felt good. Though I am very tired and it was kinda rushed. I’m do work earlier tomorrow, so I should be able to get it done long before going out for NYE celebrations.